Having a roommate comes with perks, like shared rent costs and company, so you don’t have to take on household burdens alone. However, sometimes you might just want some quiet time or space to blast up the music. This can be difficult if your roommate is always around.
If you’re wondering what to do if your roommate is always home, there are some solutions to find ways to get some privacy. Maybe they work from home or just don’t have much of a social life. Whatever the reason for their constant presence, here are 9 tips to help you.
What to do if your roommate is always home
Even a roommate who is your best friend can get on your nerves if they are always home. Try these tips to help improve your living situation.
1. Address your concerns directly
Talking to your roommate honestly and directly can help solve the problem without creating new issues. Clearly and calmly explain to your roommate that you would like time in the house alone every once in a while. Be specific about the reasons why this alone time would help you and listen to what they have to say about why they never leave the house. Stick to I statements, so it doesn’t appear like you are blaming them or accusing them of anything.
Conversations can help clear the air, especially if your roommate doesn’t realize their constant presence was beginning to annoy you. In contrast, leaving passive-aggressive notes can end up causing more tension that makes the conversation even harder to have down the line.
2. Offer suggestions on outings
Having the conversation might also reveal to you the reason they are always home. Maybe your roommate doesn’t realize they can work at a co-working space for their remote job or know about local cafes with great WiFi.
Your roommate might also not have much of a social life and don’t know where to go outside the home. In this case, you can help provide some friendly suggestions based on their interests. They might even meet new friends while they are out. Ideas you can suggest include:
- Check out a local farmer’s market
- Read in the park
- Sign up for an in-person class or workshop
- Go for a bike ride
- Do some volunteer work
- Join a local meetup
3. Suggest they go out for a stroll
While it’s best to have the conversation before you reach your limit, it’s understandable if you aren’t quite ready yet. One option to try first is to indirectly suggest things they can do. Be careful though that your tone doesn’t come across as passive-aggressive or they might suspect you’re trying to kick them out.
For example, you can suggest they take a 20-minute walk to help clear their mind and reap in the health and mood-boosting benefits of walking. Even people who don’t like to exercise can benefit from getting some fresh air and moving around. The conversation would be more about the health perks than the fact they never leave home.
4. Set up weekly meetings
One of the best ways to deal with issues with your roommate is to catch them at the beginning. Setting up weekly “check-ins” allows you to touch base with your roommate and share any concerns either of you might have. A healthy roommate relationship requires clear boundaries that you can express honestly.
These meetings prevent you from having to schedule a serious “talk” just to bring up the fact they are always home. It’s also a great way to bring up any other issues you might have, such as with household chores or company they bring over.
5. Check each other’s schedule
Sometimes it might just seem like your roommate is always home because you happen to be home or out at the same time. During the weekly meetings, make sure to check with each other’s schedules.
You don’t have to share everything you have going on, but if you can pin down when your roommate plans to leave the house, then you can schedule time in during those hours. Try putting up a whiteboard where you each indicate when you will be “out” or plan to have company over.
6. Agree on quiet hours
If quiet time is what you need every now and then, it can help to set up quiet hours. Write down the hours you agree to so it’s official. This could be certain hours in the evening where no loud tv or blasting music is allowed or hours during the day if you work from home and need focus time. While this doesn’t necessarily get them out of the house, it can provide you with the calm you need as if they weren’t there.
7. Invest in sound-canceling tools
Another way to get the quiet time you want even when they are still home is to soundproof your ears and room. You can invest in noise-canceling headphones, so you don’t hear your roommate or invest in some soundproofing items such as:
- Heavy curtains
- Thick carpets
- Soundproof wall stickers
- Door draft stoppers
8. Focus on the positives
Yes, it can be annoying to never have the living room to yourself or space alone in your home. However, sometimes focusing on all the negatives builds up frustration over time. While you’re figuring out a healthy compromise with your roommate, staying calm is key.
For your own peace of mind, it helps to remind yourself of the positives of having a roommate, even someone who is home a lot. These include:
- Your monthly expenses are split into two
- They will be there to receive packages
- They can let in technicians for home repairs
- There’s someone around to share the household chores
- You’re less likely to have a burglary situation
9. Find a new roommate
If all methods fail and your roommate doesn’t respect your need for alone time in the home, then it might mean you need to find a new roommate. Make sure to have this conversation when you are calm so you can at least part ways on amicable terms. When searching for a new roommate, ask them about their weekly routines and find someone whose schedule makes it possible for both of you to get the privacy at home you seek.
While you wait for the transition to occur, take deep breaths and focus on the positives. Also, check back to tip number 7 for sound-canceling tools to get you through the days.
